Issue No. 35

Call it what you will – overly commercialized, a Hallmark holiday, etc. – but Valentine’s Day holds a special place in my heart. February is an otherwise bleak month (the doldrums of winter, if you will). But Valentine’s Day is a sweet spot amidst it all. Shop windows are suddenly littered with red and pink, candy hearts (“text me!”) burst onto the scene, and snail mail, for a brief moment, isn’t entirely bills. We suddenly have an excuse for adult arts and crafts. My friend Laura, to this day, sends our entire friend group the happiest handmade valentines. This is the energy we need! Nostalgia and valentines aside, there is a very legitimate reason to love this holiday: it’s genuinely good for our health. It turns out, experiencing and expressing love (in all its forms) triggers a cascade of feel good chemicals in our bodies, unlocking natural health benefits that we’ll get into in a second.

And no, I’m not just referring to romance; platonic, familial (yes & pets!), self-love, and romantic love are all fair game. Expressing any of these kinds of love contributes significantly to our overall well-being. And if you’re rolling your eyes, I hear you. I have absolutely fallen victim to the negative narrative around Valentine’s Days in years past. If you’re feeling that “I’m so single” energy, trust me – I get it. The singlest I’ve ever felt was on a past Valentine’s Day when, following dinner and a movie (Fifty Shades Darker, lol) with two of my (also single) best friends, some rude character on Bumble matched with me and promptly declared: “you’re a six.” The West Village restaurant we went to for dinner had shoved us into their dungeon of a basement at a long table with all the other single ladies with reservations that night. But, you know what? Looking back now, I realize that night was, in its own way, a celebration of platonic love with two of my best friends. Now that I have a family, I cherish memories and moments like that with friends more than I realized I would.

If you’re still feeling skeptical about leaning in to Valentine’s Day – hear me out. I’m not encouraging you to book a crazy dinner reservation or go all out with gifts. Instead, I’m simply saying - drop the cynicism and embrace the day as an opportunity to show a little love to the people in your life. It will make you feel good, too, I promise! This year, rather than succumbing to the obligatory afterthought of a gift, let’s relish in the very thing the holiday was intended to celebrate: LOVE! Here are a few powerful reasons to lean in (do it for your health!), as well as some non-commercial ways to celebrate today that require little to no forethought. Most importantly, Happy Valentine’s Day to all my Lacey List readers - I love you more than you know!

Ten (Healthy) Reasons to Love LOVE

Experiencing and expressing love and connection has been shown to:

Increase the production of feel-good hormones (like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin)
Reduce anxiety and depression
Enhance self-esteem and sense of security
Improve cognitive function and memory
Lower blood pressure and stress hormones (like cortisol)
Boost our immune system
Reduce inflammation in the body (!!!)
Help us manage chronic pain through oxytocin release
Improve heart health and cardiovascular function
Improve sleep quality

The 20-Second Hug

It turns out a hug, in particular, is a powerful thing. A recent hugging study found that a 20-second hug can significantly de-escalate stress and increase oxytocin, a chemical in our bodies often referred to as the “cuddle hormone,” associated with happiness and lower stress. Oxytocin levels rise naturally when we hug, touch, or sit close to someone we love. And that’s not all! In just 20 seconds, per Healthline, a hug can reduce stress by showing your support, protect you against illness, boost your heart health, make you happier, reduce your fears, help reduce your pain, improve communication. So, if you’re looking to feel better about yourself, reduce stress, communicate better, and be a happier, healthier version of yourself, a daily 20-second hug is a good place to start.

Simple Ways to Show Some Love

Express Gratitude

Write heartfelt notes to the ones you love! Friends! Parents! Boyfriends! Girlfriends! Husbands! Wives! Nieces! Nephews! Daughters! Sons! Teachers! Mentors! The list goes on. Get specific and focus in on attributes you love about each person or what you appreciate most about your relationship.

Send a voice note to a far away friend

Good old-fashioned phone call catch-up (easier said than done, I know - I’m so bad with this).

A genuine compliment.

Physical Connection

Hugs!!! Preferably for 20 seconds or more. (And I get that 20 seconds is an eternity as far as hugs are concerned. My brother started laughing as I was telling him about this and challenged me to start hugging everyone for 20 seconds, with zero disclaimer. I’ll let you know how this goes.)

Hold hands!

Give and receive massages (Tim loves a tickle..)

Cuddle with pets. (Or babies! Cuddling with Elsie is literal heaven)

Quality Time:

Cook meals together.

Take a screen-free walk with someone you love

Put your phone away and give the other person your undivided attention

Acts of Service:

Do small favors without being asked (imagine if Tim made the bed today…)

Help with tasks that stress your loved ones.

Deliver a care package to a friend going through something.

Offer specific support during tough times.

Creative Expression:

Make handmade Valentine's cards (my favorite!).

Create a photo album or video of your favorite memories (our iPhones make this ridiculously easy now - can be as simple as sending an already made memory to a friend).

Paint or draw something meaningful for someone.

By the way, if you haven’t already seen it, Pete Davidson as Reformation’s “perfect boyfriend” gets so much of this right. Take notes! Also hats off to the Ref team because this is A+ marketing.