How To Be Calm
Issue No. 13
How To Be Calm
image via Pinterest
Tomorrow is a day I’ve been anxiously anticipating for months – my first day back at work after almost four months of maternity leave. It also conveniently happens to be tax day. Cue the anxiety! But, it turns out, I am not alone in feeling a little stressed. April is actually National Stress Awareness Month, aimed at raising awareness around the negative impact of stress.
Stress is so, so prevalent in our modern day lives. It’s pretty much impossible to avoid. I was never all that aware of the impacts of stress until the first time I sought out a health coach, Dr. Charles Passler. This feels embarrassing to admit but, at the time, I was looking for someone to help me lose weight. It was 2018 and I found myself feeling (and looking) heavier than I am comfortable with. My mom had passed away the summer before and it had been a tough year. Anyway, Dr. Passler was Bella Hadid’s nutritionist at the time and creator of Pure Change, a cleanse I had done and loved. I figured who better to help get me on track than that?!
I will never forget my first appointment with him. He gave me a pep talk unlike I had ever had before. I even still have the diagram he made me in his office that day – in a frame (see figure below). Naturally, I assumed we’d dive right into nutrition and exercise but guess what we talked about instead? Stress. That’s right – of the six foundational areas he emphasized, exercise and eating habits ranked last on the list in terms of importance. The number one thing? Stress management, with a star and circle around it. He explained the relationship between stress, cortisol, blood sugar, insulin and body fat, which was all new information to me. The pep talk was incredible – at some point I will interview him here in an attempt to capture it.
Figure 1, via Dr. Charles Passler
Beyond just body weight, stress impacts so much of our overall well-being. Too much stress can accelerate aging, increase inflammation, cause digestive problems, disrupt our sleep, impair our cognition, aggravate skin conditions, and so much more. So what are a few ways to mitigate the stress we all inevitably feel at many points in our lives?
Strategies to De-Stress
I have just the person to help us answer that question – Liz Moody. For the past few weeks, I’ve been reading and loving hers book 100 Ways To Change Your Life. If you’re a podcast person, her podcast is also a great listen. In her book, she dedicates an entire section on “How To Feel Calmer.” Below is an abridged overview of her strategies, very pertinent to today’s topic (and how I’m feeling right about now!).
Set a news boundary. “Much of the news we consume is designed as entertainment, not need-to-know information,” says Moody. “It’s specifically created to elicit the types of emotional reactions that get more clicks or watch time.” Set a solid boundary, making sure that we are consuming the news with intention rather than engaging with it as mindless entertainment.
Do a life admin day. Moody points to the “many small, nagging things on your to-do list” as a common source of stress. (Yep, this tracks for me.) A “life admin day,” as she describes it, is a day set aside to address “those little items that been occupying the corners of your brain: returning packages, replying to emails or texts, running errands, breaking down boxes, making doctors appointments, folding that pile of laundry that’s been sitting there for weeks…” She suggests doing this once every two weeks or so. This exercise, according to Moody, frees us from decision fatigue and those small but tangible sources of stress. If you’re short on time, shorten it into an afternoon or even just an hour.
Meditate - but for less time than you think. The experts Moody interviews collectively agree that there is “a need to set the bar significantly lower” in terms of the time we set aside to meditate and “how” we do it. Two, five or ten minutes are all better than none. “Start with five minutes a day,” says Moody. “Don’t make it fancy– you can go on Spotify, YouTube, or Insight Timer and find thousands of free options for guided meditations.”
Use action as the antidote to anxiety. This one is my favorite tip. “Action is what anxiety is designed to produce,” says Moody. “Anxiety has evolved to activate us, “ explained neuroscientist Dr. Wendy Suzuki, who Moody interviewed for this chapter. “It looks a little bit different in the modern world – we’re not running away or fighting a lion. But our anxiety evolved to have an actionable outcome.” I actually just put this tip into practice this week. I’m dealing with an unexpected health issue right now that was causing me serious anxiety. By scheduling the necessary scans and doctor’s appointments, I feel so much calmer about it already.
Stop letting fear control your relationship with money. “One of the simplest ways to transform your life is to master the concept of knowing what’s in your control and what’s out of it,” says Moody. “The next time your focus slips into money anxiety that’s out of your control, bring your mind back to the money choices you do have the ability to make–there are more of them than you think. Your wallet and mental health will thank you.”
Limit the physical causes of anxiety. According to Dr. Ellen Vora, who Moody interviewed for this, “Many of our moods, from anxiety to anger, can be attributed not just to what’s going on in our mind, but to what’s going on in our body.” You might be tired, hungry or hungover. “These physical states can make you feel sad or anxious.” Blood sugar, which we’ve talked about, “is one of the key false anxieties that Dr. Vora recommends paying attention to,” says Moody. To prevent blood sugar from crashing, you can make “metabolically optimized meals” (and use the Glucose Goddess’ hacks outlined here).
Try a breathwork practice. According to Moody, “There are two ways to incorporate this tip: either begin a daily practice to reduce overall stress, or use breathwork as a tool in moments that you need it.” An app like Breathwrk can do the trick in as little as a minute. “Whatever you choose, the first step is simply the awareness that our breath is free, quick, easy to access, and discreet–and it’s one of the most powerful tools at our disposal for changing both our psychological and physiological state.”
Utilizing the healing power of nature. This tip technically sits under her next section, “How to Restore and Reset” but it goes hand in hand with feeling calm. “If you want to restore your attention, relieve pain, or reduce stress, one of the best activities you can do is simply go outside,” says Moody. “Natural environments help us recover from stress, which then improves our concentration, creativity and overall feeling of well-being.” This can be as simple as looking outside your window at a tree, though, “more time is better.” However you choose to engage, “the science is clear–nature heals.”
For a deeper dive on Liz Moody, I highly recommend reading her book yourself! It’s available on Kindle (which is how I’m reading it). If that’s not for you, below are three of her podcast episodes that go deeper on anxiety and strategies for “feeling calm.”
One final parting thought that I will share (based only on my own recent personal experience): we have been blessed (so far) with a relatively easy, calm, well-rested baby. I firmly believe that babies can pick up on our energy. For this reason, “staying calm” has never been more important to me!
With that – thank you for reading! I wish you a stress-free week. Until next Sunday.
